August Dreams In January
In graduate school, a beloved professor shared with us that she used to have what she termed “August dreams.” Basically in August she would start dreaming about the upcoming school year. I remember thinking that maybe she was just trying to put us on.
Then I started having “August dreams.” I’ve never been one of those whoohoo believers in dreams but I often found myself working out my nerves and classroom management ideas in my dreams. And sure enough, it is happening again. Except this time I will have to call them “January dreams,” because the kiddos come at the end of the month.
The other day I spent hours pouring over articles about classroom management and procedures online. I wrote down a bunch of notes, ideas, made a list, more ideas and left it. I can be an on my feet thinker but I often like to let things simmer. Simmering they must be because some things are getting worked out in my dreams.
Every year I think this’ll be the year I don’t feel nervous, I don’t over plan and I just “get it!” And every year I am amazed that I still feel nervous, over plan and feel I have way more to learn. Very many things are already different about this school year. We all gather tomorrow to begin 3 weeks of planning together as a staff. Let me repeat, THREE WEEKS.
I am already less nervous (okay maybe not) and thankful. No NCLB sanctions, class size cap at 20, a room I can paint myself and planning time. Still given that I am me, I still feel so very nervous. There are no teacher stores within kilometers, no easy access to children’s books, no Elmo, no projector, no classroom computer.
Funny how even self chosen change is hard. Yet exhilarating.
August dreams, keep on coming. I am grateful for some things that don’t change.