As I begin to wind down my time here I’ve been reflecting more and more on some of the similarities and hilarity that I’ve encountered this year. My first two years teaching yielded a plethora of funny yet maddening events. Just yesterday I was reminded about how in my first year, one of my students pushed another student off a small wall onto cement which caused fallen student to break both her ulna and radius on her right arm.
My time in teaching has not been without drama. Oh boy, has it not.
I used to write a little end of the year diatribe to my colleagues called Me Teach Pretty Someday. And here I am about to finish up year 5 and well, I’m still not teaching pretty.
So without further adieu, some schoolyard troubles and funnies from my year:
1.) The other day a student put his hand on my belly and said “Teacher? Baby?” Keep in mind I’m 5’11”, run 5K three times a week and lift weights. What I’m saying is, I don’t really have a belly. Later that day, I pulled him aside and said “If you learn anything from me this year, ________, let me tell you, don’t do that ever again to any woman. Trust me.”
2.) Just the other day, a kid bit another kid enough to break skin. Did I mention, this was an almost 6th grader? Yup. Defense is rough.
3.) Once during question of the day, which was “What would you do during the Zombie Apocalypse?” a student replied “First I’d paint myself like a zombie, then I’d hunker down and start folding my thousand paper cranes.” I had just taught them about the story of Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes. Priceless.
4) Just yesterday someone took a fancy to squirt rubbing alcohol into a classmates eye. They had made some project in Social Studies….I have no idea! All I know is, WHAT?! How do you even do that?!
Though my list is long, for now I’ll leave it at that. These are the moments I like to look back at and laugh at because they are the ones that make this job so dynamic. I’ve learned it doesn’t matter where you go, kids are kids and dang do they do some random things.